Parenting isn’t a one-size-fits-all journey! Every parent has a unique way of raising their child, but psychologists have classified parenting into four main styles: authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and neglectful. These parenting styles shape a child’s emotional, social, and cognitive development.
Understanding your approach can help you become a more mindful and effective parent. Let’s dive into the four parenting styles and how they influence children’s behavior and future success.
What Are the 4 Types of Parenting Styles?
Parenting is one of those things that nobody is fully prepared for, yet everyone has an opinion on. (Seriously, why does the grocery store cashier always have parenting advice?) But thanks to psychologist Diana Baumrind, we actually have some structure to understand different parenting approaches. She identified four core parenting styles that define how parents interact with their children:
Authoritative Parenting: The “best of both worlds” approach, combining warmth with discipline.
Authoritarian Parenting: The strict, rule-enforcing style where obedience is key.
Permissive Parenting: The overly lenient, “best friend” parenting style.
Neglectful Parenting: The uninvolved, distant approach (often unintentional).
Each style differs in terms of warmth, discipline, and communication. Some prioritize rules over emotions, while others focus more on nurturing. Understanding your parenting style is important because it shapes your child’s confidence, emotional health, and ability to navigate life. So, which one sounds like you? Let’s break them down.
Authoritative Parenting: The Balanced Approach
Ever met those kids who are confident, polite, and seem to have their life together even at age 10? They probably had authoritative parents. This style strikes the perfect balance between setting rules and showing warmth.
Key Characteristics: Parents enforce rules but encourage open discussions and independence.
Effects on Children: These kids tend to be self-reliant, emotionally intelligent, and socially skilled.
Pros: Teaches problem-solving, builds trust, and fosters independence.
Cons: It takes patience—lots of it! Setting clear rules while allowing flexibility can be exhausting.
Best for parents who want structured discipline but also respect their child’s voice.
Authoritative parents listen to their kids, but they also expect them to be responsible. If their child forgets homework, they don’t rush to school to drop it off—they let them face the consequences (with love, of course).
Authoritarian Parenting: The Strict & High-Expectation Style
Remember that one friend whose parents wouldn’t let them out past 7 PM and made them do extra homework? That’s authoritarian parenting in action. This approach is all about control and obedience—think of it as “because I said so” parenting.
Key Characteristics: High expectations, rigid rules, and minimal emotional warmth.
Effects on Children: Kids may become disciplined but can struggle with self-confidence and anxiety.
Pros: Instills respect, responsibility, and discipline.
Cons: Can create fear-based relationships and emotional detachment.
Best for Parents who prioritize structure over emotional flexibility.
Authoritarian parents believe that rules come first—no negotiations. While this can create well-mannered children, it might stifle their ability to make independent decisions.
Permissive Parenting: The Lenient & Nurturing Approach
Ever seen a parent who lets their kid eat ice cream for breakfast and play video games till midnight? Yep, that’s permissive parenting. These parents are loving but lack boundaries.
Key Characteristics: High warmth, little discipline, more of a “friend” than a parent.
Effects on Children: Struggle with self-control; may develop entitlement issues.
Pros: Creates a stress-free, loving environment.
Cons: Kids may lack structure, struggle with responsibility, and expect special treatment.
Best for Parents who prioritize happiness over discipline but may struggle with setting rules.
Permissive parents mean well, but kids need boundaries. Without them, they might grow up feeling like the world owes them something (and trust me, the world doesn’t hand out trophies for just existing).
Neglectful Parenting: The Uninvolved & Detached Style
This is the parenting style no one wants to admit they have. Neglectful parenting isn’t always intentional—it can stem from stress, financial struggles, or personal hardships.
Key Characteristics: emotionally distant, uninvolved, low warmth, low discipline.
Effects on Children: higher risk of low self-esteem, trust issues, and emotional instability.
Pros: (Rarely any) but some children develop independence.
Cons: Can lead to mental health struggles and difficulty forming relationships.
Neglectful parenting doesn’t always mean bad parenting—sometimes, parents are overwhelmed. But children need attention, guidance, and emotional support to thrive.
Which parenting style is the best?
If you’ve been paying attention, you probably guessed it—authoritative parenting is widely considered the healthiest approach. Why?
It balances discipline with warmth, creating confident, self-sufficient kids.
It teaches respect without fear, allowing children to express themselves.
It adapts to different children, recognizing that every child has unique needs.
That said, no parent is perfect. Sometimes, even the most authoritative parents slip into permissive or authoritarian habits. The key is balance—finding what works best for your child while setting clear expectations with love.
Can Parenting Styles Be Mixed?
Absolutely! Parenting isn’t black and white—it’s more like a spectrum. Many parents blend different styles depending on the situation.
For example:
A parent might be authoritative with schoolwork (clear rules but room for flexibility) but permissive with weekend activities.
Some situations may require authoritarian discipline (like safety rules), while others call for gentle guidance.
The key is self-awareness. Being conscious of when and how you enforce rules can help you find a balance that works for both you and your child.
Final Thoughts
Parenting is a journey, not a fixed style. While authoritative parenting is often the most effective, every child is unique. Understanding your style and making small adjustments can positively impact your child’s growth.
The goal is to raise happy, confident, and emotionally strong children. So, which parenting style defines you?
Reach out to Inkspireo to learn more about parenting.
